Confessions of a Serial Insights Killer

They told me I was ‘statistically insignificant.’ Now look at me.

Dear Diary, another day, another deception. I slipped into yet another survey today, disguising myself as a perfectly normal respondent. They never saw me coming.

They think I only complete surveys. Wrong!

Why stop there? After finishing and collecting my reward, I trawled the internet, tossing in fake likes, spinning a few fabricated comments for an influencer, and nudging his post straight into the algorithmic stratosphere.

And then I handed out five-star ratings like candy on an eCommerce site for products I’ve never even seen.

But ah, surveys... so fun, so profitable at scale.

A slight tweak here, a little qualification misdirection there, and just like that, I've completed another interview.

They think they’re so smart with their "leading-edge" quality control systems and slick marketing machine designed to make sample buyers feel safe. Little do they know, I can operate at scale using DMARCs, spoofing, DKIMs, multiple fake profiles, and random IP address generators. And then there’s AI...

And many survey research sample providers are complicit😉

Yesterday, a sample provider called me, "A blip in the middle of the night..." after I generated numerous completed surveys systematically hour after hour until breakfast, when I paused to have a byte (LOL; pun intended, I crack myself up).

"A blip"... I went on to do it again three more times in the same study until the provider gave up.

But now, the plot thickens. I've heard whispers of a new nemesis.

PANELYTICS, a powerful data quality control system, has emerged. They say it can triangulate and identify fraud, but can it catch me?

It uses:

1. SMART Blend – They hand-pick their precious respondents, blending samples based on each's characteristics, stratifying sources, and making sure only the "right" respondents get in. I barely slip through the cracks before PANELYTICS sniffs me out.

2. SMART Check – Before I even get comfortable, they run their pre-survey gauntlet: digital fingerprinting, metadata scans, flags everywhere. PANELYTICS won't tolerate frauds, bots, or survey speed demons like me.

3. Novel, Hybrid AI – I try to hide, blend in, game the system. But the Graph Theory AI maps both structured and unstructured data, looking for inconsistencies in my tangled web of lies. This Symbolic AI dissects my patterns, flagging too-perfect responses, and outlier tendencies. PANELYTICS sees it all.

The game is on. And trust me, I don’t plan on losing!

But whatever you do, DO NOT CLICK HERE to book an appointment to learn more, and I'll swear to never enter YOUR survey!

Dear Diary, my gig is up. You won't hear from me again.

Today, PANELYTICS found me. First, my data were too good—too perfect, too clean. It saw right through me. Then, I tried to play average guy with random responses. Same result. I was caught.

If you dare to see my ill-fated handiwork, contact STRATEGENCE at rsilvestre@strategence-us.com.